Fleet Reviews: The Kraken Sea

Posted on August 17, 2016 by Fleet Sparrow

I read this book about a month ago, but with multiple debilitating illnesses, I’ve been unable to actually review it until now.  This will probably end up a fairly short review since I actually don’t have too much to say about this book.

…And that probably sums up everything you need to know about it.

The Kraken Sea by E. Catherine Tobler (Kindle version) — published by my faves, Apex Publishing — is a prequel to her Jackson’s Unreal Circus series.  Here, we follow the aforementioned Jackson on his journey from the foundling hospital he grew up in to San Francisco and the strange fate he finds there.

On the whole, the book is enjoyable weirdness.  Beneath Jackson’s apparently human form lay scaled tentacles; the woman who takes him in, Cressida, has a house full of shadows, with guard lions that judge the worth of whoever enters and eats those who are unworthy; Mae, the mysterious lion tame with a startling secret; the Fates, who determine birth, life, and death.

The TL;DR before the cut:  I expected Lovecraft and got Twilight with prettier prose.

There is nothing inherently wrong about the type of eerie this book dwells in.

…BUT (and spoilers):

Continue reading →

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Harry Potter and the Cursed Colonial

Posted on July 30, 2016 by Fleet Sparrow

thewrackspurt's avatarRighting Red

It’s a great time to be a fan of J.K. Rowling’s wizard-based adventures (we’ll forget about Casual Vacancy – I haven’t gotten into the Robert Galbraith novels and won’t anytime soon):

We’ve got not only the stage production of Harry Potter and the Cursed Child + the script-book accompaniment being released this weekend, but can also look forward to the beginning of a movie trilogy launching this November with the opening of Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them (based on what can barely be considered more than a short story).

And, of course, there’s all the shenanigans happening over on the Pottermore site with marketing ploys disguised as “backstory.”

It’s the last bit that’s keeping me—once a raging Potterhead—decidedly cool to all things Jo.

To recap: Rowling seems to be channeling Lockhart-like ego and real-world dismissiveness when it comes to Indigenous criticisms of her History of Magic in…

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Q & A Time with Fleet Sparrow

Posted on July 22, 2016 by Fleet Sparrow

It has come to my attention that I give fantastic advice.  This is not news to me but perhaps it is for you.

Therefore, I am beginning a hopefully weekly series answering all your burning questions about life, the universe, and why the hell they keep making new Bat villains when Scarecrow hasn’t been used in ages, I mean what the hell!.

Join me as we go about our journey into understanding.

You can leave your questions here in the comments, in my Tumblr ask or submission boxes if you want to be anonymous, DM my Twitter, or even send a question to my e-mail at fleetsparrow@gmail.com.

Looking forward to receiving and answering your questions!

Remember, nothing is off-limits.

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On “Typecasting” and Opportunities in the Comics Industry

Posted on July 7, 2016 by Fleet Sparrow

Amed to all this.

Stitch's avatarStitch's Media Mix

Consider this a follow up to yesterday’s post about the fear and annoyance with Brian Michael Bendis writing Riri Williams when he has a clear track record of mishandling black characters.

Shortly after writing my post, I saw a series of tweets by Marvel editor Alanna Smith that really rubbed me the wrong way.

In the first tweet, one that clearly referenced Black anger and annoyance to BMB writing yet another Black legacy character in Riri Willams, Smith said that, “I strongly dislike the idea that people can only write comics starring characters that look like them. Leads to typecasting on both sides…”

She then followed the tweet with a big BUT (literally: “…BUT the industry always needs to do better and I’d love some recs of comics by black female creators. What are you reading/writing now?”) before moving into a series of tweets where she tries to explain her positioning…

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The Reality of Bendis Writing Blackness

Posted on July 6, 2016 by Fleet Sparrow

I’d also like to add (on top of the shitstorm that’s Miles Morales’s surprise!colorblindness) is that every time Bendis writes Miles reminding people he’s Afro Latino, he says “Hispanic”.

Let me tell you right now, no Latinx person describes themselves as “Hispanic”. We say we’re Mexican, Salvadorian, Nicaraguan, Puerto Rican (in Miles’s case); if not specifying, we’ll say Latinx. People from Spain don’t even call themselves “Hispanic” because what does that even say? You speak Spanish? You are part of the demographic nobody wants to count?

Being Puerto Rican in New York (New fucking York, like are you shitting me?) without any acknowledgement of what that means, how it reflects on who he is, on where he grew up, on *anything* is ignorant at best.

There’s nothing wrong with having him struggle with his identity (too Black? too Puerto Rican? too Afro-Latino? how do all those intersect? how do you identify with conscience when someone/thing makes you choose one?), that’s fine. That’s what mixed race people do all the time. But ain’t no one goes around calling themselves census identifications.

(Except White people who like throwing around “Caucasian” like that’s not a hot mess, I guess.)

Stitch's avatarStitch's Media Mix

Riri Williams and Tony

In theory, I know I should be happy that we’re getting more diversity in the form of Riri Williams,  a young black woman/girl taking over the role of Iron Man from Tony Stark.

In reality?

I’m getting sick and tired of these companies swearing up and down that they really want to promote diversity before putting yet another white male writer on a book with a character of color as the focus. (You know… instead of finding writers of color — especially Black female writers — to handle the character.)

I’m especially vexed that the man behind this is Mr. Brian Michael “My Spider-Man doesn’t see what so important about him being Black in a world that loves Blackness but hates Black people” Bendis.

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The Grizzledest, Grittiest, Growliest Batman

Posted on June 16, 2016 by Fleet Sparrow

Y’all know you’ve been waiting for The Dark Knight Returns Funko Pops, right???

I said  R I G H T???

Well now they’re here!!

That’s right, now you can have your very own Frank Miller Batman growling and grunting at you all day long!

In blue!

In black!

In old!  I mean, Unmasked!

In armor!

Joker!  If, yk, you really gotta……  (He’s got bitchin’ eyeshadow, tho)

And, of course, the one, the only

CARRIIIIIIIIIIE KELLEYYYYYYYYYYYY

Pick them all up here on Entertainment Earth (and help a brother out, too)!

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“Am I Acting How Christ Would?”: A Response to “A Christian’s Response to the Orlando Shootings”

Posted on June 15, 2016 by Fleet Sparrow
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SO MANY NOT MINT POPS, HOLY–

Posted on June 9, 2016 by Fleet Sparrow

We’ve got a lot of Pops, son, and oh boy, are they sellin’!

A lot of these are just one left, and going out of stock AS I TYPE, so GET ON IT!

DC, Marvel, Star Wars, Football, TV Shows, EVERYTHING’S UNDER HERE, BUY IT!

Continue reading →

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Giveaway!

Posted on June 7, 2016 by Fleet Sparrow

Yes, for once I’m giving away something for YOU, yes YOU, my friends!

Hurry, hurry!  Step right up!  Everybody wins a prize!  Multiple winners!

It’s a hearty thanks for y’all being so cool.  <3333

CLICK HERE, FRICKER!!

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The Products Never Stop Coming!!

Posted on June 3, 2016 by Fleet Sparrow

First we’ll start off with Batman because I always start with Batman.

For some regular priced Bat-stuff, try

gdfi, Fleet, I’m sick of all this Batman shit. Don’t you have anything else?

WAH!

All these guaranteed Not Mint! Not guaranteed: How long they’ll stay available.

Don’t forget my other sales, and my personal Yale Sale. Commission me!

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STAR WARS NOT MINT STAR WARS HOLY SHIT

Posted on June 2, 2016 by Fleet Sparrow

DO YOU WANT A FINN?  AND MAYBE SAVE A FIN??  IT’S RIGHT HERE, FRICKER!

Star Wars 12-Inch Finn Figure, Not Mint  Star Wars Takodana Encounter Action Figures, Not Mint

VEHICLES!!

Star Wars The Force Awakens Vehicle Assault Walker, Not Mint   Star Wars The Force Awakens Elite Speeder Bike, Not Mint

Star Wars Special Forces TIE Fighter Metal Vehicle, Not Mint   Star Wars First Order Transporter Die-Cast Vehicle, Not Mint

BONUS DC HERO CARS!
Hot Wheels DC Comics Character Car Case

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Oh Dang, More Neat Stuff!

Posted on June 1, 2016 by Fleet Sparrow

Quick post to let y’all know some cool things that are Not Mint right now (which means sale for you, aww yeah!)

Do you want this creepy smiling Fisher-Price phone??  Of course you do!

How about a portable mini xylophone?  You’ve been needing to annoy your roommates anyway, right?

Batman’s not yella!  Well, he kind of is, at least for now.

What about cars?  You like cars?  We got a ’69 Chevy Corvette and a ’69 Ford Mustang Boss 429.  How’s that fit ya, fancy pants?

OH GOD NO, MR. HULK HEAD, DON’T MASH!  DON’T MASH!!

Maybe you’re into Betty Boop (or, like me, your grandma is).  She’s a swingin’ gal!

And like, dang, it’s expensive, but maybe you’re Tolkien trash like I am and Beorn’s house would just make your set.  Idk, man, it would me.

Don’t forget my Yale Sale, commissions, and the other cool things Entertainment Earth’s got!  You never know, you might find something you need!  (hmu for links so we both win)

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Entertainment Earth Memorial Day Sale

Posted on May 25, 2016 by Fleet Sparrow

It’s Time For Memorial Day Sale!

Hey there, gals and pals, freaks and geeks, it’s time for the Entertainment Earth Memorial Day Sale.  It’s buy one, get one 60% off (a 30% discount in total, but WHO’S COUNTING???).

To start things off, here’s a quick sample to some of the items bein’ sold.

So many damn heroes:

(Look, I know right now it’s not all great stuff, but more things will be added as the sale goes on!  Probably.  Hopefully.)

As it goes, I’ll post some of my favorite picks and some great deals, so hit me up if there’s anything you’d like to see!  Got a favorite fandom?  Let me know and I’ll make sure to add those products to my posts!

Get ready to save on some fantastic geekery, and help out your old pal!  (that would be me, fyi)

(P.S. Don’t forget to check out my other EE links and my current commissions info!)

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YALE SALE

Posted on May 24, 2016 by Fleet Sparrow

Hello friends!!

I’m cleaning out my room, and my millions* of stuffed animals and goodies need homes!  (and I need money)

Some of these have set prices, some can be done in grab bags, and some y’all can just throw at me a price and we’ll work from there.  Shipping will depend on location and size, but I’ll mostly use the designated USPS boxes.

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Loot Crate boxes

You can either buy the boxes or individual items.  Can mix and match items as well.  I’d like to ship them in the boxes as they are nice and handy to package in, but will also sell boxes empty (maybe with some lil goodies).

  • $25 for light box, $35 for heavy box
  • $20 for Carnage Mug separate

Items

  • Carnage Mug
  • Terminator Skull
  • Breaking Bad Los Pollos Hermanos Apron
  • Simpsons Wallet
  • Some fucking Hydra something, idk man, they’re fucking Nazis….
  • Avengers Decal
  • Groot Socks
  • Harry Potter Luggage Tag
  • Ghostbusters Door Hanger
  • LC Villains 2.0 Box (empty)
  • LC Terminator Box (empty)

McDonald’s Hello Kitty Couples 2000

  • $30 a pair
  • $50 for full set
  • Ask about individual prices (prefer to sell as set)

Mini McDonald’s Hello Kitties

  • $10 for set

Extra Info

  • Coca-Cola Bear from 1996
  • Scooby-Doos can be sold separate
  • Black cat’s spider friend must stay on hat (this is v important, it’s such a happy spider)

 

HMU on Twitter (@fleetsparrow), here in a comment, or e-mail at fleetsparrow@gmail.com

Donation page is up on YouCaring here, but I’m also opening up commissions for pretty much everything I’m good at  Also, always open for fanfic commissions and Perler Bead creations!  Please help where you can!

 

*not an exaggeration

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Commissions!

Posted on May 23, 2016 by Fleet Sparrow

FIRST:

Commission Info

Writing:

Commission types include:

  • Fanfiction

Prices for fanfics:  $1 every 100 words, starting at $5.  (So, 100-500 word prompts would all be $5).

Level 1:

  • 100-1000 words
  • (characters/pairing, one sentence prompt)

Level 2:

  • 1,000-2,000 words
  • (characters/pairing, small prompt)

Level 3:

  • 2,100-3,500 words
  • (characters/pairing, post-length prompt/AU setting)

Level 4:

  • 4,000+
  • (characters/pairing, full AU/prompt)
  • Anything 4,000 words or longer, payment can be discussed separately.  If I go over the designated word limit, I will not charge you extra.

Best Fandoms

  • Batfandom
  • Grayson
  • DC Comics in general
  • Yu-Gi-Oh! DM (manga and anime)
  • Foyle’s War
  • Sherlock Holmes (Conan Doyle canon & Horowitz canon)
  • Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy (also general George Smiley series)
  • Agatha Christie’s Mr. Quin
  • Miss Marple
  • Jupiter Ascending
  • song fics (as in, fics about songs as well as traditional songfic).

I will also write for any fandom you like, but you must provide the canon you want me to work with (show episodes, film scenes, comic issue numbers/panels, etc.).  I will also write for your OC’s, as long as you provide the canon.

I will write any pairing, any rating.

If you are interested in a commission, please e-mail me at FleetSparrow@gmail.com

Payment will be through PayPal only.

Examples of my fanfics can be found on Tumblr here or in the Fleet’s Fanfics tag or here on AO3.

What I will not write:

  • Forced pregnancy or anything relating to that.
  • Any kind of racist bullshit (y’all want white HB in Grayson, we’re gonna have words, pal)
  • Anything you intend to pass as your own work, including stories or essays for a class publication under your own name.  You may repost the fic, but you must credit with a link back to me.

Terms and Conditions:

  • I reserve the rights to all writings commissioned. You may not pass any writings off as your own, nor post them without credit linking back to me. If published, I retain the rights to use commissioned pieces as examples of my work.
  • Publication of your commission is at your discretion (you can decide if you want it to be private only to you, or if you wanted posted as your commission).  However, if you publish my work on your own, there must be credit linked back to me, and such publication nulls any non-publication agreement on my end, allowing me to publish the commissioned work wherever I see fit.
  • I reserve the right to refuse any commission without giving reason (although I probably will anyway).
  • In the event that I am unable to complete your commission for whatever reason, refunds can be discussed for anything $10 or greater.
  • Prices and terms and conditions are subject to change at any time.

NEXT UP:

Perler beads

I make some really awesome things with these, as shown here.  All shown products are for sale, and I will absolutely be making more.

Shipping $5 flat rate, items to be priced based on size/difficulty (but don’t worry, if the price ends up lower than the shipping, we’ll work it out to your benefit).

If there’s anything you’d like made, whether I’ve already made it or you want something custom, just let me know at fleetsparrow@gmail.com

LAST THING:

Editing Commissions

Types of work I will edit:

  • Fanfics
  • Original fic
  • Short stories
  • Novellas
  • Novels
  • Essays (not for specific style, just grammar/readability/flow)
  • Literally anything involving words

Price:

  • $15 up to 999 words
  • $20 per 1,000 words OR per hour (depending on length/amount of work needed)

My specialties:

  • Spelling/Homonyms/Word usage
  • Dialogue
  • Sentence structure and flow
  • Characterization

NOTE:  I will not do complete rewrites for you, but I am more than happy to assist you and provide suggestions while you rewrite.

I have long-time experience with writing and editing fiction of all kinds.  If you would like references for my skills, please let me know and I will put you in contact with writers I have worked with.

If interested, please contact fleetsparrow@gmail.com

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